Dearest Beloved,
A lot happened today. Aside from my work as usual I had a conversation with mom about the pipe smoking. She told me that it "took you down a notch" in her book. She said before you were a 7/10 and now you're a 6/10 regarding her approval. I know I'm not your mother and I can't tell you what to do, but when you get back from training it would make me really happy if you discontinued the habit. I know you reasoned that it's "not that bad" and I agree, but I also believe in the slippery slope theory and watched you transform from "only once or twice a month" to "special occasions and when I go camping and also to try out new pipes and also to show my friends." My cousin M is in the hospital because her lung collapsed for the second time-- caused by smoking. Yes, cigarette smoking, but it was still something she started doing "on occasion" and then it escalated into a habit. You have an addictive personality and I think if you think about it logically you'd realize that the smart thing would be not to participate.
On a positive note that will shortly turn into more critical thoughts, (constructively critical I hope), we met with M and S's cousin and her family today. She used to babysit them when they were little and she told me that they'd been looking for them for years... that they never stopped searching. Apparently their grandmother had intentionally pulled away from that side of the family over fears that they would try to take M and S away. But, it was so wrong of her... they are wonderful people and I can't wait to meet more of their family!
However, the topic of motorcycles got brought up and I learned that M and S's mother's first husband died-- the same year their mom died-- but in a separate accident. "Drive like you're invisible" only goes so far. In the case of the mom at least, they were stopped at a red light and got plowed into by a drunk driver who didn't see them. She died instantly. The fact is, you WILL crash and if you're on a motorcycle your chances of death or serious injury are WAY higher than if you're in a car. If you truly value your own life as much as you claim, you'll realize that the gas savings and insurance savings do not outweigh the ability to live long enough to fulfill your ambitions.
Please, won't you consider my feelings on these two issues? You told me the hookah smoking bothered you and I stopped completely and I haven't gotten drunk at all because of your concerns (and because I don't drink to get drunk anyway).
Okay, enough "lecturing." I know that's what you feel like I was doing but make sure you keep in mind that I'm expressing my thoughts. You missed these conversations that I wish you were present for because perhaps they might have swayed your opinions... just please, for me, consider not getting a motorcycle and consider not smoking the pipe anymore... or be willing to work out a compromise I can agree to. I'll never forgive myself if I say nothing, you get a motorcycle and then die in an accident or get ADDICTED to tobacco.
So. Tomorrow I'm going to Schlitterbahn. I don't really feel up to it since I'm a bit sick and I was up late due to the family visit-- they left close to midnight and R wants to get there EARLY. Bleh. I know once I'm there I'll enjoy it. Mom and dad bought the ticket (after lecturing me about supporting their adult child)... I told them I'd rather not go and was only asking for R's sake-- 100% true. Anyway I just wish you could come.
I have no idea what your life is like right now... I'm sure you're fine but I am really anxious to get my first letter from you. You should get my first letters tomorrow... Everything reminds me of you. People ask if it's hard and I don't know much how to answer them... of course it's hard. It's like you died (because NO contact from you) but I know it would be dumb to grieve as if you died because you haven't... (yet >_<) I guess the primary feeling is numbness... With pangs of that gut feeling you get when you really miss someone. But, those come and go by things that trigger them... like at dinner, we had asparagus... and Amethyst pointed to the stuffed toy that you gave me and said, "Puppy!" And showing pictures of my family where my brothers have their wives but I'm alone...
But, it has been nice being around family. The boys keep asking me how long I'll be around. It's cute. :) I'm excited to go to their football games to watch them in marching band.
I hope you're getting enough rest... I hope they're feeding you healthy and fresh food and that you're making friends. At the same time, I hope it's not TOO easy so that they adequately prepare you for things you may face during deployment. Above all I want you to be smart and safe. And use your smarts to keep yourself safe. I feel there is inadequate fear of death or consequences sometimes... anyway.
I'm SO proud of you! My next letter will be much more positive. Thank you for sticking through the things I had to say. Thank you for loving me no matter what. I cherish you. Stay safe, Sunbear. I love you! XOXO
Yours,
CherryGirl
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