Your Cherub loves you. <3
Dear *Soldier*,
Not much to report today. I actually DID make it to Curves this morning (unlike last week) and, similarly to last week the scale hasn't moved much. (Down 0.4 lbs) -_- I'm a little discouraged but I THINK I'm just building a lot of muscle right now. Maybe I'm decreasing in size and body fat percentage. I'll find out for sure next week because around Oct. 3 is my one month mark from when I joined Curves. I feel better, stronger, have more energy, and my cheat meals make me feel miserable. It's good reinforcement, lol. That's what I'm going through right now... cheat meal aftermath... I feel terrible (bloated, gaseous, crampy, etc). Anyway you get the idea. I think that by eating this way I will never WANT to "go off" the diet because of how these foods are affecting me and how much control I've gained over what I eat. :)
I'm going to get a Unit done tonight after I finish my letter. I really don't want to get to the point where I'm panicking about it. Spent the day chatting with Aunt R* and R* so I feel pretty unproductive. I need to make up for it. <3
I miss you a lot. It's painful to be out of contact with you for so long. Please write letters as often as you get a chance. The last one I got arrived on Monday... this is the third week straight with only one letter from you. :( I know BCT is close to being over but I need you still... and I feel like you're slipping away... it makes me so sad being without you all the time, day in and day out... If you don't get to call tomorrow I'll be pretty devastated. And I know it's not a guaranteed thing-- I read sometimes they let soldiers call every Sunday starting in a certain phase, but I realize it's totally possible, and likely, that it was a one time thing... especially in that event, please write more letters soon... I ache to have some kind of contact with you. I fantasize about you all the time-- hugging, holding, kissing, etc, with you. I'm going a little crazy, lol. I've never been through anything like this before, and... well, you asked me once if I could be OK living the life of an Army wife... the answer is yes-- but not comfortably. It would be easier if I had little ones to care for, while you're gone, I think. It would help keep me busy and give me someone to cuddle with. The cat is just not the same. Anyway, it doesn't matter how hard it gets, I will always be willing to put up with whatever it takes, provided you commit to me (yes, I mean marriage). I will always wait & be faithful to my Army husband-- if you decide you cannot live without me in your life... I'm finding it especially hard to survive without you.
Sending kisses XXXXX
I LOVE YOU,
like crazy baby :)
Cherry Girl <3
your faithful loving gf. :)
Saturday, September 28, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Letter: About Intermittent Fasting, Diet Ideas, Hard Day Emotionally
Dear *Soldier*,
Today there was no mail at all. I can't get over how alone I feel today. Mom & Dad went out of town and the boys had a football game. I made myself a steak dinner and watched Miss Congeniality (a movie from 2000). It was funny and sweet but I was sad that there was no one to share it with. I wanted to get a Unit done tonight, but in all honesty, I was so sad and I missed you so much that I couldn't focus on anything. I read about weight loss studies to see if there are ways I could further accelerate my weight loss but it was hard to focus so I read the same thing over and over again. I learned of a technique called "IF" or Intermittent Fasting, which apparently works better for men than for women, but only if you're extreme about it. Since I'm doing a cheat day that fills me up a ton, I think fasting the next day might help with "recovery" before I start the eating plan again for the week. I'm going to try it and just see how I feel. From Sunday night dinner to Monday night dinner I'll fast-- so 24 hrs or so. I'm also going to incorporate more "damage control" techniques to try to prevent huge gains when I pig out. For example, drinking grapefruit juice, which is supposed to help blunt any insulin spikes, and doing 90 seconds of intense exercise before eating & after so that the sugars get burned off and no stored. We shall see... XD It's hard to tell what's hokey and what's not, and different things work differently for different people because everyone is different. o_o I have gone to Curves 4x this week and I will go in the morning tomorrow after my weigh-in and before breakfast. I also decided I'm going to try working out on an empty stomach and see if that accelerates my weight loss too. I want results, dammit! LOL.
Anyway, I was going to mention earlier but I got sidetracked... they posted more pictures of your battery today on Facebook and yet again there are no pictures of you. I feel like I should be grateful they even bother but at the same time it feels like utter torture... cause I get so excited and I slowly & painstakingly search every visible face in the pictures hoping to recognize you and every time I get to the end of the new uploads with nothing. :( It's kinda like when the mail man comes and there's no letter, except worse. I am totally hating this situation today. I broke down and cried for about 15 minutes straight... but I'm better now. I just want to know that I'm not going through this for nothing... I want to know that you'll always be with me... I wish I could know that and I hate that I don't. It makes it that much harder at times like this. I love you so much... sorry for the downer letter today. I had a hard time. Can't wait to see you/speak to you/get a letter/anything.
Your loving & devoted girlfriend,
Cherry Girl
XXXXX
Today there was no mail at all. I can't get over how alone I feel today. Mom & Dad went out of town and the boys had a football game. I made myself a steak dinner and watched Miss Congeniality (a movie from 2000). It was funny and sweet but I was sad that there was no one to share it with. I wanted to get a Unit done tonight, but in all honesty, I was so sad and I missed you so much that I couldn't focus on anything. I read about weight loss studies to see if there are ways I could further accelerate my weight loss but it was hard to focus so I read the same thing over and over again. I learned of a technique called "IF" or Intermittent Fasting, which apparently works better for men than for women, but only if you're extreme about it. Since I'm doing a cheat day that fills me up a ton, I think fasting the next day might help with "recovery" before I start the eating plan again for the week. I'm going to try it and just see how I feel. From Sunday night dinner to Monday night dinner I'll fast-- so 24 hrs or so. I'm also going to incorporate more "damage control" techniques to try to prevent huge gains when I pig out. For example, drinking grapefruit juice, which is supposed to help blunt any insulin spikes, and doing 90 seconds of intense exercise before eating & after so that the sugars get burned off and no stored. We shall see... XD It's hard to tell what's hokey and what's not, and different things work differently for different people because everyone is different. o_o I have gone to Curves 4x this week and I will go in the morning tomorrow after my weigh-in and before breakfast. I also decided I'm going to try working out on an empty stomach and see if that accelerates my weight loss too. I want results, dammit! LOL.
Anyway, I was going to mention earlier but I got sidetracked... they posted more pictures of your battery today on Facebook and yet again there are no pictures of you. I feel like I should be grateful they even bother but at the same time it feels like utter torture... cause I get so excited and I slowly & painstakingly search every visible face in the pictures hoping to recognize you and every time I get to the end of the new uploads with nothing. :( It's kinda like when the mail man comes and there's no letter, except worse. I am totally hating this situation today. I broke down and cried for about 15 minutes straight... but I'm better now. I just want to know that I'm not going through this for nothing... I want to know that you'll always be with me... I wish I could know that and I hate that I don't. It makes it that much harder at times like this. I love you so much... sorry for the downer letter today. I had a hard time. Can't wait to see you/speak to you/get a letter/anything.
Your loving & devoted girlfriend,
Cherry Girl
XXXXX
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Letter: About Aunt E*, 2 Letters/Week, Swimming, Cooking
I love you so much.
Dearest Sweet *Soldier*,
I regretfully inform you that your Great Aunt E* died yesterday. I found out because your mom posted on Facebook about it. I'm sorry to write about this news in a letter & maybe your mom was able to call & tell you before you get this... but, if not, here is her Facebook post...
"My heart hurts like crazy right now. I lost my Aunt E* today. She was the kindest, most loving person I know. Her hugs were the best, and when it came time to physically let her go it was so hard I felt like my heart was actually coming out of my body. I just wanted to keep my arms around her forever. I cried until the chest and shoulder of her hospital clothes were soaked. I know in spirit she was hugging me back and telling me she loves me and she is ok. She was so much a part of my childhood and the footprints she's left in my life will leave me forever a better person. I love you, Aunt E*."
I don't have any clue how hard this news will hit you... but if it hurts, close your eyes for a moment and imagine me holding you. I did just now, so I'm sending you a hug-- as long as you need. I'll be here for you as long as you want me to be. <3
(more on reverse)
I didn't get a letter again today. Do you think you could try to send 2 per week maybe? I've gotten maybe 4 all this month so far and it feels like I'm living in a dark black hole where there is no such person as *My Soldier*. I take any opportunity to bring you into conversations because it reminds me that you're still in my life, even if it's in a severely limited way. Of course, I'm writing to you... but to never get responses... it feels like I'm talking to myself sometimes.
The highlight of today was going swimming with R*. She came over and we swam in my parent's pool. The days have warmed up and so the water temperature also feels warmer. It was fun, and we finished off our night in the hot tub. It really is cool at night. They have multicolored lights under the water that make it seem like you're lounging in different colors of jello or something, and there's a rubber ducky that lights up. If we had drinks too it would have felt like we were in Vegas or something. XD
I've cooked a few times this week and don't find it all that difficult, which is encouraging. I only have to cook, at most, 2 meals per day and most of the time I end up with leftovers which means 1 less time I have to cook, lol. Running out of room so I'll close, but, I love you. No less than I did when I kissed you goodbye. And I miss you. So badly my heart feels like it's ready to explode. I love you.
Yours,
Cherry Girl <3
* Could you send at least 2 letters a week?
Dearest Sweet *Soldier*,
I regretfully inform you that your Great Aunt E* died yesterday. I found out because your mom posted on Facebook about it. I'm sorry to write about this news in a letter & maybe your mom was able to call & tell you before you get this... but, if not, here is her Facebook post...
"My heart hurts like crazy right now. I lost my Aunt E* today. She was the kindest, most loving person I know. Her hugs were the best, and when it came time to physically let her go it was so hard I felt like my heart was actually coming out of my body. I just wanted to keep my arms around her forever. I cried until the chest and shoulder of her hospital clothes were soaked. I know in spirit she was hugging me back and telling me she loves me and she is ok. She was so much a part of my childhood and the footprints she's left in my life will leave me forever a better person. I love you, Aunt E*."
I don't have any clue how hard this news will hit you... but if it hurts, close your eyes for a moment and imagine me holding you. I did just now, so I'm sending you a hug-- as long as you need. I'll be here for you as long as you want me to be. <3
(more on reverse)
I didn't get a letter again today. Do you think you could try to send 2 per week maybe? I've gotten maybe 4 all this month so far and it feels like I'm living in a dark black hole where there is no such person as *My Soldier*. I take any opportunity to bring you into conversations because it reminds me that you're still in my life, even if it's in a severely limited way. Of course, I'm writing to you... but to never get responses... it feels like I'm talking to myself sometimes.
The highlight of today was going swimming with R*. She came over and we swam in my parent's pool. The days have warmed up and so the water temperature also feels warmer. It was fun, and we finished off our night in the hot tub. It really is cool at night. They have multicolored lights under the water that make it seem like you're lounging in different colors of jello or something, and there's a rubber ducky that lights up. If we had drinks too it would have felt like we were in Vegas or something. XD
I've cooked a few times this week and don't find it all that difficult, which is encouraging. I only have to cook, at most, 2 meals per day and most of the time I end up with leftovers which means 1 less time I have to cook, lol. Running out of room so I'll close, but, I love you. No less than I did when I kissed you goodbye. And I miss you. So badly my heart feels like it's ready to explode. I love you.
Yours,
Cherry Girl <3
* Could you send at least 2 letters a week?
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Letter: About MegaMind, Wishing for Letters, Hurt Feelings, Questions
Dearest Beloved,
I miss you. :( Today was more of the same, for the most part. Except I went to R*'s for delicious chili and we watched Mega Mind. I remember watching it with you and how much I LOVED it!! It made me sad that you aren't with me. I have decided that I really do like my life better with you in it. No one has ever brought me light and joy like you do. The best part is how loyal and trustworthy you are, so I don't have to be afraid or wonder what you're up to. I know you are waiting for me faithfully just like I've been waiting for you. :) It really is lovely to feel secure.
I really wish I could have gotten a letter today... or maybe your fabled graduation packet we're supposed to be getting, lol. I just hate the feeling that no matter what I do, I can't control when I get to speak with you. I guess I could send myself to the hospital technically but I obviously would never do that-- to myself OR to you. :P I just love getting letters and it's sad when the mailbox is empty of anything with that wonderful handwriting of yours. :) I can't describe that feeling! It's like my heart stops and has a party (when there IS a letter I mean), but when it's just bills and spam mail for mom & dad it's... well, disappointing. I just always think "Maybe there'll be a letter tomorrow..." I also wish you'd never said you didn't want letters every day... I know you said you changed your mind and I know you have told me that you hate when there's no letter form me during mail call, but I'll never forget how hurt I felt that you rejected such a gift of dedication at first... and it comes back to haunt me every once in a while when it's the end of the day, I'm ready to just pass out, and your words pop into my head, "I don't want a letter EVERY day... that's a little much..." I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I just want to tell my boyfriend how I feel. be careful with what you say, with anyone-- not just me. I find comfort, however, knowing that you've never once made me feel ugly or unattractive-- and that's something I cannot say about any other guy I've been with. You're really so wonderful. :)
Before I close, I wanted to ask you something.
* Did you get my letter written on Sept 17th and the pictures I included for you?
*(if yes) How did you feel, having gotten my short letter but then getting a letter where I told you all about how crazy I am about you? :)
* Do you like the pictures/Do you look at them?
* Do you still miss me?
These are the answers I'd like today. Thank you puppy for being so willing to answer them for me. I love you with all my heart.
Your Cherub,
Cherry Girl <3
XXXXX
I miss you. :( Today was more of the same, for the most part. Except I went to R*'s for delicious chili and we watched Mega Mind. I remember watching it with you and how much I LOVED it!! It made me sad that you aren't with me. I have decided that I really do like my life better with you in it. No one has ever brought me light and joy like you do. The best part is how loyal and trustworthy you are, so I don't have to be afraid or wonder what you're up to. I know you are waiting for me faithfully just like I've been waiting for you. :) It really is lovely to feel secure.
I really wish I could have gotten a letter today... or maybe your fabled graduation packet we're supposed to be getting, lol. I just hate the feeling that no matter what I do, I can't control when I get to speak with you. I guess I could send myself to the hospital technically but I obviously would never do that-- to myself OR to you. :P I just love getting letters and it's sad when the mailbox is empty of anything with that wonderful handwriting of yours. :) I can't describe that feeling! It's like my heart stops and has a party (when there IS a letter I mean), but when it's just bills and spam mail for mom & dad it's... well, disappointing. I just always think "Maybe there'll be a letter tomorrow..." I also wish you'd never said you didn't want letters every day... I know you said you changed your mind and I know you have told me that you hate when there's no letter form me during mail call, but I'll never forget how hurt I felt that you rejected such a gift of dedication at first... and it comes back to haunt me every once in a while when it's the end of the day, I'm ready to just pass out, and your words pop into my head, "I don't want a letter EVERY day... that's a little much..." I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I just want to tell my boyfriend how I feel. be careful with what you say, with anyone-- not just me. I find comfort, however, knowing that you've never once made me feel ugly or unattractive-- and that's something I cannot say about any other guy I've been with. You're really so wonderful. :)
Before I close, I wanted to ask you something.
* Did you get my letter written on Sept 17th and the pictures I included for you?
*(if yes) How did you feel, having gotten my short letter but then getting a letter where I told you all about how crazy I am about you? :)
* Do you like the pictures/Do you look at them?
* Do you still miss me?
These are the answers I'd like today. Thank you puppy for being so willing to answer them for me. I love you with all my heart.
Your Cherub,
Cherry Girl <3
XXXXX
Tuesday, September 24, 2013
Letter: About Sundays, Daily, New Identity, Love
Dear *Soldier*,
I keep wondering if you'll get your phone again next Sunday... I'm going to keep my phone nearby just in case, but I don't want to get overly hopeful either... in case you're not able to call. It was so nice speaking to you, but now I ache for you again as if a wound was freshly reopened. At the same time, I keep thinking of how little time is left before we'll have regular contact again... only 4 more weeks (and a few days)! I made it through 6 so far, so I can do this...
I had a pretty unproductive day... my muscles were still sore feeling so I didn't go to Curves, but I did have nice lean meals with veggies and they were delicious. I also did one session and took a nap. It probably sounds like heaven to you right now... I'm not trying to rub that in your face. XD R* came over today. She was feeling depressed and wanted me to cheer her up. Since she was here and I couldn't work on a Unit as I had planned to do, I worked on vacuuming my parents' pool. It has a bunch of dead algae in the bottom because dad forgot to chlorinate it once and it stated growing... it's such a pain to get rid of. Not hard to kill it, but a pain to get it OUT. I spent probably 2 hours vacuuming but only got 2/3rds finished. Oh well. Had a nice chat with R* at the same time at least. I stayed up late doing a Unit for my certification. I've finished 11 Units now and have 9 left to go... I know from experience that in a time crunch I can do 1 unit per day, but it has to be a day in which I have ample time... tomorrow should be a good day to get some work done. I'm going over to R*'s in the evening because I'm having some dried eggs shipped there to add to my shakes (less nasty and safer than raw eggs, lol)... so I need to pick that up. While I'm there she's going to make me some of her chili... which is so delicious. I'm not a huge chili fan but her chili is more like vegetable soup with LOTS of meat and beans... anyway I asked her specifically to make it because so far it's one of my favorite meals since beginning this eating plan. :) It's wonderful eaten with fresh crunchy lettuce. WHO AM I?! XDDD
It's really neat to be discovering my own identity outside of food. I read a nice quote today that said, "I am not fat. I HAVE fat. There is a difference." That's how I feel... I still have fat but the person inside me isn't fat anymore. :) I just have to wait for the body to adjust to the not-fat self inside I guess, lol. Okay enough about the diet, I'm kinda getting tired of writing about it and you're probably getting tired of reading about it. XD
I just keep thinking about how overwhelmingly proud I am to be with you. You're going to do such amazing things and I'm so glad I can call you mine. I hope you feel the same way... mutual slaves, right? :) Please take care of yourself and your body... I'm glad you got well so quickly and I'm kind of mad that you pushed yourself the way you did, but I also understand why you did it... I don't like it but I'm just glad you're okay. Finally, there's one question I forgot to add to the bulleted list in the last letter (hopefully that wasn't too overwhelming for you). And I have one new one. ;)
* You talked about the gun spinning stuff in a previous letter... Are you going to learn more complicated movements with the rifles or is that only for certain MOS's?
* Do you still love me? How much? ;D
I will love you forever, *Soldier*, never ever doubt that,
Your Cherry Girl <3
I keep wondering if you'll get your phone again next Sunday... I'm going to keep my phone nearby just in case, but I don't want to get overly hopeful either... in case you're not able to call. It was so nice speaking to you, but now I ache for you again as if a wound was freshly reopened. At the same time, I keep thinking of how little time is left before we'll have regular contact again... only 4 more weeks (and a few days)! I made it through 6 so far, so I can do this...
I had a pretty unproductive day... my muscles were still sore feeling so I didn't go to Curves, but I did have nice lean meals with veggies and they were delicious. I also did one session and took a nap. It probably sounds like heaven to you right now... I'm not trying to rub that in your face. XD R* came over today. She was feeling depressed and wanted me to cheer her up. Since she was here and I couldn't work on a Unit as I had planned to do, I worked on vacuuming my parents' pool. It has a bunch of dead algae in the bottom because dad forgot to chlorinate it once and it stated growing... it's such a pain to get rid of. Not hard to kill it, but a pain to get it OUT. I spent probably 2 hours vacuuming but only got 2/3rds finished. Oh well. Had a nice chat with R* at the same time at least. I stayed up late doing a Unit for my certification. I've finished 11 Units now and have 9 left to go... I know from experience that in a time crunch I can do 1 unit per day, but it has to be a day in which I have ample time... tomorrow should be a good day to get some work done. I'm going over to R*'s in the evening because I'm having some dried eggs shipped there to add to my shakes (less nasty and safer than raw eggs, lol)... so I need to pick that up. While I'm there she's going to make me some of her chili... which is so delicious. I'm not a huge chili fan but her chili is more like vegetable soup with LOTS of meat and beans... anyway I asked her specifically to make it because so far it's one of my favorite meals since beginning this eating plan. :) It's wonderful eaten with fresh crunchy lettuce. WHO AM I?! XDDD
It's really neat to be discovering my own identity outside of food. I read a nice quote today that said, "I am not fat. I HAVE fat. There is a difference." That's how I feel... I still have fat but the person inside me isn't fat anymore. :) I just have to wait for the body to adjust to the not-fat self inside I guess, lol. Okay enough about the diet, I'm kinda getting tired of writing about it and you're probably getting tired of reading about it. XD
I just keep thinking about how overwhelmingly proud I am to be with you. You're going to do such amazing things and I'm so glad I can call you mine. I hope you feel the same way... mutual slaves, right? :) Please take care of yourself and your body... I'm glad you got well so quickly and I'm kind of mad that you pushed yourself the way you did, but I also understand why you did it... I don't like it but I'm just glad you're okay. Finally, there's one question I forgot to add to the bulleted list in the last letter (hopefully that wasn't too overwhelming for you). And I have one new one. ;)
* You talked about the gun spinning stuff in a previous letter... Are you going to learn more complicated movements with the rifles or is that only for certain MOS's?
* Do you still love me? How much? ;D
I will love you forever, *Soldier*, never ever doubt that,
Your Cherry Girl <3
Monday, September 23, 2013
Letter: Responding to feelings, diet, QUESTIONS
<3 I CARE SO SO SO MUCH ABOUT YOU, *Soldier*!! <3
Dear Sweet Puppy,
I got your letter today. Wow. I am overwhelmed. It had seemed like you were becoming cold and emotionless to me but your phone call combined with this letter I just got demonstrate quite the opposite. I had no idea my short letter would upset you so much, and for that pain that you went through, I am so sorry. I wrote what I did because I had been asking for "softness" for well long enough that I knew you read it, but your letters barely even said "I love you." Anyway, I understand now, (and suspected then too) that you simply didn't realize you were overlooking something that was SO important to me... and when you did realize, it was a little bit late and you were very sick and of course had so much else to worry about. Let me say this, though. At no point will it worry or bother me again. You were so crystal clear in your letter about how you feel that if I even have an inkling of doubt, I can just go read that letter and know how much you love me. It's bittersweet. Of course I'm not rejoicing that you were on the verge of tears... I wished so bad that I could reach out and hug you and tell you that your fear that I love you or CARE even slightly less is completely unfounded and untrue. I not only love you just as much as I ever have, I am overwhelmed with pride because you're doing so well! :) Quantum Physics. ;D That's MY BOYFRIEND!!! XD I can't help but feel excited for you! Honor grad or not, I will be SO proud come October 24th and 25th. We're almost down to one month exactly! Squeeeee! XD I CANNOT WAIT to see you. Especially now that my fears and anxieties have been addressed and destroyed, lol.
So, my body is sore and has been since yesterday. It's amazing because my workouts are so easy yet I can tell without a doubt that I'm building muscle. :D Hopefully the new muscle will help burn off all this fat too, hehe. No real visible changes yet except for some muscle definition in my shoulders (of all places). Don't expect too much, I'll still be quite fluffy next month. ^_^; But over time, keeping this up, I know it'll change. I think that magical "I just don't want unhealthy food," feeling that R* talked about finally hit me tonight. After dinner I kind of wanted something sweet, out of habit, but everything that came to mind sounded gross. Even on my cheat weekend I couldn't eat much that was sugary without thinking it was nasty. I got a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks and a White Chocolate Salted Caramel Mocha and they were both SICKLY sweet to me. The pumpkin loaf I usually crave tasted like nasty crap... even cereal and milk-- which I had been eating EVERY NIGHT before I started this because it was the only thing sweet in the house-- even that tasted like nasty crap! Like the fake-ness of it and the over sugaryness... anyway. I'm completely amazed! And thrilled! If eating this way has freed me from the "slavery" of sugar addiction, I say good riddance! I mean, I really feel like going to R*'s was like going to rehab for chemical addiction... I was totally addicted to sugar... as evidenced by how much I FIENDED for it during the first weeks and how now anything with a "traditional" amount of sugar in it just tastes gross! It's crazy! It's kind of like how people who go on low sodium diets end up thinking everything "normal" is way too salty-- except with sugar. :) I'll be healthy in no time as long as I don't give in to convenience because at this point, that's the only thing stopping me. :) Are you proud? You haven't said a thing about all my diet/exercise routine info yet. (I'll put a bulleted list at the end.) :3
Actually... what I'm gonna do is go through all my letters so far and make a bulleted list of unanswered questions (I type a copy before I mail my letters out. ;)). It would make me very happy if you told me about your training AND answered my questions... I just want there to be something in your letters just for me. <3 Okay, other side = questions. :)
* Are you proud of me for the work I've done & all I've accomplished on my diet? Any other thoughts/feelings related to that topic?
* I read that a quick kiss, "short" hug, & linking arms, is all that's allowed when you're in uniform in public. I REALLY don't want you to push me away for trying to touch you so I need to know in advance... is that info consistent with what you've been told?
* When Family Day comes you SHOULD be able to leave base to go to the hotel... your family should also be there... will you please be willing to request some alone time? I don't want to ask & I know they'd respect it if you asked.
* Is alone time with me something that you want/ are looking forward to?
* Who else has written you letters?
* Do you have a letter for every day from me? (you should :))
* What is church like? (instruments, singing, etc)
* Do you have access to a guitar & do you want me to bring one @ graduation?
If you can't answer them all in one letter that's OK. :)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Sending a huge hug & lots of kisses ---> XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO :D I love you now & always,
Your Cherub,
Cherry Girl <3
p.s. (Trying to save paper, lol)
Dear Sweet Puppy,
I got your letter today. Wow. I am overwhelmed. It had seemed like you were becoming cold and emotionless to me but your phone call combined with this letter I just got demonstrate quite the opposite. I had no idea my short letter would upset you so much, and for that pain that you went through, I am so sorry. I wrote what I did because I had been asking for "softness" for well long enough that I knew you read it, but your letters barely even said "I love you." Anyway, I understand now, (and suspected then too) that you simply didn't realize you were overlooking something that was SO important to me... and when you did realize, it was a little bit late and you were very sick and of course had so much else to worry about. Let me say this, though. At no point will it worry or bother me again. You were so crystal clear in your letter about how you feel that if I even have an inkling of doubt, I can just go read that letter and know how much you love me. It's bittersweet. Of course I'm not rejoicing that you were on the verge of tears... I wished so bad that I could reach out and hug you and tell you that your fear that I love you or CARE even slightly less is completely unfounded and untrue. I not only love you just as much as I ever have, I am overwhelmed with pride because you're doing so well! :) Quantum Physics. ;D That's MY BOYFRIEND!!! XD I can't help but feel excited for you! Honor grad or not, I will be SO proud come October 24th and 25th. We're almost down to one month exactly! Squeeeee! XD I CANNOT WAIT to see you. Especially now that my fears and anxieties have been addressed and destroyed, lol.
So, my body is sore and has been since yesterday. It's amazing because my workouts are so easy yet I can tell without a doubt that I'm building muscle. :D Hopefully the new muscle will help burn off all this fat too, hehe. No real visible changes yet except for some muscle definition in my shoulders (of all places). Don't expect too much, I'll still be quite fluffy next month. ^_^; But over time, keeping this up, I know it'll change. I think that magical "I just don't want unhealthy food," feeling that R* talked about finally hit me tonight. After dinner I kind of wanted something sweet, out of habit, but everything that came to mind sounded gross. Even on my cheat weekend I couldn't eat much that was sugary without thinking it was nasty. I got a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks and a White Chocolate Salted Caramel Mocha and they were both SICKLY sweet to me. The pumpkin loaf I usually crave tasted like nasty crap... even cereal and milk-- which I had been eating EVERY NIGHT before I started this because it was the only thing sweet in the house-- even that tasted like nasty crap! Like the fake-ness of it and the over sugaryness... anyway. I'm completely amazed! And thrilled! If eating this way has freed me from the "slavery" of sugar addiction, I say good riddance! I mean, I really feel like going to R*'s was like going to rehab for chemical addiction... I was totally addicted to sugar... as evidenced by how much I FIENDED for it during the first weeks and how now anything with a "traditional" amount of sugar in it just tastes gross! It's crazy! It's kind of like how people who go on low sodium diets end up thinking everything "normal" is way too salty-- except with sugar. :) I'll be healthy in no time as long as I don't give in to convenience because at this point, that's the only thing stopping me. :) Are you proud? You haven't said a thing about all my diet/exercise routine info yet. (I'll put a bulleted list at the end.) :3
Actually... what I'm gonna do is go through all my letters so far and make a bulleted list of unanswered questions (I type a copy before I mail my letters out. ;)). It would make me very happy if you told me about your training AND answered my questions... I just want there to be something in your letters just for me. <3 Okay, other side = questions. :)
* Are you proud of me for the work I've done & all I've accomplished on my diet? Any other thoughts/feelings related to that topic?
* I read that a quick kiss, "short" hug, & linking arms, is all that's allowed when you're in uniform in public. I REALLY don't want you to push me away for trying to touch you so I need to know in advance... is that info consistent with what you've been told?
* When Family Day comes you SHOULD be able to leave base to go to the hotel... your family should also be there... will you please be willing to request some alone time? I don't want to ask & I know they'd respect it if you asked.
* Is alone time with me something that you want/ are looking forward to?
* Who else has written you letters?
* Do you have a letter for every day from me? (you should :))
* What is church like? (instruments, singing, etc)
* Do you have access to a guitar & do you want me to bring one @ graduation?
If you can't answer them all in one letter that's OK. :)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Sending a huge hug & lots of kisses ---> XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO :D I love you now & always,
Your Cherub,
Cherry Girl <3
p.s. (Trying to save paper, lol)
Response: About FEELINGS
Written on Thursday, Sept 19
Dear Cherub,
I got your letter from the 16th today, and was so excited, but it made me really sad inside that you wrote so little, and I felt a bit of passive-aggression in it. It killed me inside, please don't ever do that again. Happy belated anniversary. I didn't respond in my last letter because I wrote it before I got the letters you wanted me to respond to. By the time you get this I will have talked to you on the phone already, but I am so troubled, that I have to write this. I have gotten very sick in the last couple days,and it had progressively gotten worse. I wake up in the middle of the night and feel as though I'm dying of fever. I sneeze and my throat ache and my head throbs. You get the point. I have been doing my best to hide my sickness because this week was very important in BCT. We did our weapons testing and training. As of today I'm a qualified marksman of the Army, hitting 27 targets out of 40, pop-up targets within a 4 second interval up to 300 m away. Since I did that, tomorrow I'm going to the hospital. I love you as much as ever, as proven by how much the fact that your last letter was 2 sentences affected me. My letters typically recount what I have done simply because that's the easiest thing to write about at the end of the day when I'm swamped. You asked if the Drill Sergeants are mean. Some more so than others, but over time they get better. I don't want you to feel bad, but I'm on the verge of tears because that last letter was so short, it made me feel like you care less about me. In the future, separate questions from your actual letters and ask them in bullet format please, that will make it easier for me to answer them and ensure I answer all of them.
Still with all my love,
*My Soldier*
p.s. Thank you for taking the time to write The War Prayer, even though I would have rather had it accompanying a letter.
Dear Cherub,
I got your letter from the 16th today, and was so excited, but it made me really sad inside that you wrote so little, and I felt a bit of passive-aggression in it. It killed me inside, please don't ever do that again. Happy belated anniversary. I didn't respond in my last letter because I wrote it before I got the letters you wanted me to respond to. By the time you get this I will have talked to you on the phone already, but I am so troubled, that I have to write this. I have gotten very sick in the last couple days,and it had progressively gotten worse. I wake up in the middle of the night and feel as though I'm dying of fever. I sneeze and my throat ache and my head throbs. You get the point. I have been doing my best to hide my sickness because this week was very important in BCT. We did our weapons testing and training. As of today I'm a qualified marksman of the Army, hitting 27 targets out of 40, pop-up targets within a 4 second interval up to 300 m away. Since I did that, tomorrow I'm going to the hospital. I love you as much as ever, as proven by how much the fact that your last letter was 2 sentences affected me. My letters typically recount what I have done simply because that's the easiest thing to write about at the end of the day when I'm swamped. You asked if the Drill Sergeants are mean. Some more so than others, but over time they get better. I don't want you to feel bad, but I'm on the verge of tears because that last letter was so short, it made me feel like you care less about me. In the future, separate questions from your actual letters and ask them in bullet format please, that will make it easier for me to answer them and ensure I answer all of them.
Still with all my love,
*My Soldier*
p.s. Thank you for taking the time to write The War Prayer, even though I would have rather had it accompanying a letter.
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