<3 I CARE SO SO SO MUCH ABOUT YOU, *Soldier*!! <3
Dear Sweet Puppy,
I got your letter today. Wow. I am overwhelmed. It had seemed like you were becoming cold and emotionless to me but your phone call combined with this letter I just got demonstrate quite the opposite. I had no idea my short letter would upset you so much, and for that pain that you went through, I am so sorry. I wrote what I did because I had been asking for "softness" for well long enough that I knew you read it, but your letters barely even said "I love you." Anyway, I understand now, (and suspected then too) that you simply didn't realize you were overlooking something that was SO important to me... and when you did realize, it was a little bit late and you were very sick and of course had so much else to worry about. Let me say this, though. At no point will it worry or bother me again. You were so crystal clear in your letter about how you feel that if I even have an inkling of doubt, I can just go read that letter and know how much you love me. It's bittersweet. Of course I'm not rejoicing that you were on the verge of tears... I wished so bad that I could reach out and hug you and tell you that your fear that I love you or CARE even slightly less is completely unfounded and untrue. I not only love you just as much as I ever have, I am overwhelmed with pride because you're doing so well! :) Quantum Physics. ;D That's MY BOYFRIEND!!! XD I can't help but feel excited for you! Honor grad or not, I will be SO proud come October 24th and 25th. We're almost down to one month exactly! Squeeeee! XD I CANNOT WAIT to see you. Especially now that my fears and anxieties have been addressed and destroyed, lol.
So, my body is sore and has been since yesterday. It's amazing because my workouts are so easy yet I can tell without a doubt that I'm building muscle. :D Hopefully the new muscle will help burn off all this fat too, hehe. No real visible changes yet except for some muscle definition in my shoulders (of all places). Don't expect too much, I'll still be quite fluffy next month. ^_^; But over time, keeping this up, I know it'll change. I think that magical "I just don't want unhealthy food," feeling that R* talked about finally hit me tonight. After dinner I kind of wanted something sweet, out of habit, but everything that came to mind sounded gross. Even on my cheat weekend I couldn't eat much that was sugary without thinking it was nasty. I got a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks and a White Chocolate Salted Caramel Mocha and they were both SICKLY sweet to me. The pumpkin loaf I usually crave tasted like nasty crap... even cereal and milk-- which I had been eating EVERY NIGHT before I started this because it was the only thing sweet in the house-- even that tasted like nasty crap! Like the fake-ness of it and the over sugaryness... anyway. I'm completely amazed! And thrilled! If eating this way has freed me from the "slavery" of sugar addiction, I say good riddance! I mean, I really feel like going to R*'s was like going to rehab for chemical addiction... I was totally addicted to sugar... as evidenced by how much I FIENDED for it during the first weeks and how now anything with a "traditional" amount of sugar in it just tastes gross! It's crazy! It's kind of like how people who go on low sodium diets end up thinking everything "normal" is way too salty-- except with sugar. :) I'll be healthy in no time as long as I don't give in to convenience because at this point, that's the only thing stopping me. :) Are you proud? You haven't said a thing about all my diet/exercise routine info yet. (I'll put a bulleted list at the end.) :3
Actually... what I'm gonna do is go through all my letters so far and make a bulleted list of unanswered questions (I type a copy before I mail my letters out. ;)). It would make me very happy if you told me about your training AND answered my questions... I just want there to be something in your letters just for me. <3 Okay, other side = questions. :)
* Are you proud of me for the work I've done & all I've accomplished on my diet? Any other thoughts/feelings related to that topic?
* I read that a quick kiss, "short" hug, & linking arms, is all that's allowed when you're in uniform in public. I REALLY don't want you to push me away for trying to touch you so I need to know in advance... is that info consistent with what you've been told?
* When Family Day comes you SHOULD be able to leave base to go to the hotel... your family should also be there... will you please be willing to request some alone time? I don't want to ask & I know they'd respect it if you asked.
* Is alone time with me something that you want/ are looking forward to?
* Who else has written you letters?
* Do you have a letter for every day from me? (you should :))
* What is church like? (instruments, singing, etc)
* Do you have access to a guitar & do you want me to bring one @ graduation?
If you can't answer them all in one letter that's OK. :)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! Sending a huge hug & lots of kisses ---> XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO :D I love you now & always,
Your Cherub,
Cherry Girl <3
p.s. (Trying to save paper, lol)
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