Dearest Beloved *Soldier*,
I've been thinking about you so much today. Missing you comes in waves. Sometimes I think of you and I accept that you aren't here and that you're bettering yourself and that I'm okay with that. Other times, I think of you and it hurts. It hurts because in a way I feel abandoned, and sometimes when I need that strength from you it hurts because it reminds me of you weak I am. It hurts when I need unconditional acceptance. My family (except for R) really sucks at that. But, even though it hurts, know that I am faithful. Know that I will wait and suffer and I'm willing to go through this again, as many times as needed. No matter the day, or how I feel in the moment, I'm always proud of you. And I will always love you. If you ask, I will always be by your side, or waiting for your return. I will be one of the few faithful Army wives. Even though I'm going to be a lot more attractive soon to the general male population, I am going to reward YOU and you alone with my body-- because you loved me even when I gained weight. Even when I have been humiliated or when my weight has prevented me from doing something with you, you still stood by me, loving me regardless. No one has ever done that for me before. I can't easily put into words how much it means to me that you were willing to be someone I could count on and someone I can trust. I cried like a baby writing all that... this is how I feel from the depths of my soul. I never want to be with anyone but you.
On a lighter note, today was uneventful and I stuck to my diet without too much difficulty. It's amazing how much easier it is to diet when someone fixes your meals for you, lol. I'm pretty much relying on that right now but hoping I can keep it up on my own when I stay with mom & dad again. Tomorrow afternoon I start my "cheat 24 hrs." This is a time where I'm encouraged to indulge as much as I want, even overeating, because it "revs up" the metabolism. It's hard to believe that will help but Aunt R told me that's how they lose a ton of weight on that "Total Body Makeover" show, lol. I hope I'm not boring you with these "diet details..." this is kind of like MY basic training! LOL. Training for how to be a healthy eater. Basic Skinny Person Training or "BSPT." XD Jk. I love you, Nathan. I wish so bad that I could snuggle you. Please accept my love. <3<3<3 Saturday's letter will be sent Monday with Sunday's so expect a short break. I LOVE YOU! <3 Stay soft, Puppy. <3
Yours,
Cherry Girl <3
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